Today

Last night the meeting discussed Step 11.  Instead of jumping right into the 11th Step, I chose to start in the middle – “praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out” – by telling a story.  Earlier this week, a friend called me.  As we were chatting, she mentioned that she had a dream about me and my daughter.  In that conversation, God appeared as the discussion of the dream led to a much deeper conversation about something going on in her life, and our relationship as friends.  A conversation we likely would not have had were it not for the dream.

I thought it was a great example of how God illustrates His “will” for us in so many creative ways.

So, we started there and my intention was then to circle back to demonstrate “how prayer and meditation” can improve our conscious contact with God as we understand Him (Her or It).  To segue from one direction to another, I planned to play “Inhale Deep” by Macklemore (link below).

As I turned to my computer and opened iTunes, a track began to plan.  How, I do not know because I did not click the play button.  A voice filled the room and here is what she said:

“For many of us a regular daily quiet time for prayer and meditation is essential, a part of this program we don’t want to live without, for it gives us the direction and strength we need to live the rest of that day effectively…”

I stopped typing “inhale deep” in the iTunes search box and inhaled deep.  I quickly looked to see what track was playing as I did not recall ever hearing this voice before.

” Many of us begin our day with prayer and meditation, end it with another time of prayer and meditation, and also use these practices at all time during the day when we feel the need for guidance, strength or serenity.”

I looked at the iTunes interface – all is showed was Track 24, 2:52 in duration added on 12/16/15.  The track had never been played on iTunes before.

It continued…

“Step eleven’s suggestions are not intended to interfere with or replace the traditional religious practices some of us follow.”

At which point, I burst out laughing – really?  I mean really? The random track that plays for the first time from out of nowhere is on Step 11?

It continued…

“Rather, we have found that these suggestions enhance the practice of our chosen religious.  At the same time, neither step eleven nor any other step requires us to adopt an organized religion.

As with so many other aspects of this program, there is no one right way to do step eleven.  “Keep it simple” is a good slogan to apply here.  Remembering that our goal is to develop a coder conscious contact with God, prayer is simply what we do when we talk with our Higher Power, and meditation is simply a way of stilling our minds and opening our spirits to God’s influence.”

And I started laughing again as the last statement typed above was essentially what I had been saying in my conversation about my friend’s dream.  A brief conversation erupted which drowned out the narrator.  Someone asked that we simply listen to the rest of the track.  So, the group’s attention returned to it.

“In addition to repeating memorized prayers, we can express ourselves to God in our own words, much as we might talk with out best friend.  Some of us have been taught that there are things we shouldn’t say to God or feelings we shouldn’t express.  However, now that we’re recovering from compulsive eating we need complete freedom to express our honest feelings in any situation, without fear of saying the wrong things or damaging or destroying our relationship with God.  Such freedom is an essential factor in the healing process because recovery is based on the practice of honesty with ourselves and our Higher Power.  We need the security that comes from knowing that nothing can destroy our relationship with this all-important source of healing and strength while we honestly explore our deepest selves.

The eleventh step guides us to ask only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out…”

And the next thing I knew, iTunes was playing a voice memo I recorded for a school project that I was working on.  As quick as that, the narration was gone.

It was simply stunning.

I continued laughing because here is the God that I understand and here is how She presents herself in my life – quirky twists and turns.

At the end of the meeting, I asked for questions or comments.  A woman who was attending the meeting for the first time – whom I’ve never met before – raised her hand.  She proceeded to say that she got exactly what she needed from the conversation, particularly the random track that spontaneously started to play.  She related that she is going through a bunch of stuff and that there are some things running around in her head that she has been afraid to bring to God, or is too ashamed to bring to God.  The idea that we are free to bring anything to God was absolutely what she needed to hear.  Her sharing catalyzed another level of conversation that seemed to touch her deeply.

I knew last night that I was watching God at work – that was clear to everyone who was present.

I got up today – niggled by the idea that some track I’d never heard before was playing last night – and started an investigation to determine it’s source.  I searched for Track 24, identified when it was added to iTunes and then sorted my iTunes library by “Date Added” to Tracks 1 – 23.  I did.  I played Track 1 of that series and came to discover that this was the narration of the Overeaters Anonymous 12&12 – and that the language narrated could be found in that document on pages 92 – 95 (Hard cover, first edition). (Yes, I am sorry to say that I added this document to my library in December and have not listened to it yet…).

When I found the text, I discovered that I had quadruple underlined the sentence that “such freedom is an essential factor in the process of recovery.”  I had also quadruple starred the language that preceded this entire section:

“All of us who have utilized step eleven, consistently giving a part of each day to meditation and prayer, have been rewarded – and sometimes awed – by the results.”

I got a good laugh over this whole dynamic again today.  What are the odds that a specific random track would start to play from the database of over 2,000 tracks that are included in iTunes?  What are the odds that it would happen on the first night that someone attends the meeting at my house and it would resonate so deeply?  What are the odds that this new person – who is from the rooms of AA – would encounter the five or so specific paragraphs from the OA literature that seemed to rock her world last night in any other forum?

I have tremendous gratitude for the clarity I have today to watch God at work real-time.