Today

I have an awesome, amazing God.  The God of My Understanding (GMU) is the origin of everything – the Alpha and Omega – the beginning, the end and everything in between.  There is no part of my world and day-to-day life experience that is separate from God.  The GMU lives in the concrete that I walk on in Manhattan, the trees that line my driveway at home and in every single cell that constitutes me in this moment today.  My Higher Power (HP) is not some esoteric being that sits separate and apart from me.  My HP is everything.

Because the GMU is everything – it is impossible for anything to be separate from God.  Everything is of God – with no exceptions.  If God is omnipresent, ever present and all loving, how could there every be a time when God is NOT happy with me?  If God is in it all – a part of every element of the fabric of life – how can God not be okay with everything exactly as it is?

And if everything is exactly as it is, how can anything I do be anything less than within God’s plan?

My Higher Power is thrilled that I just breathe – regardless of whether I make adaptive choices or not.  My body is “engineered” by God to run best when I am sober, eat a healthy diet, exercise and allow myself adequate sleep at night.  When I choose to align with these behaviors, I have the privilege of living in a strong, healthy body.  Were I to fill my body with mind-altering drugs, eat poorly, forget to exercise and burn the candle at both ends, the quality of my life is the outcome of my choices.  On either path, God’s will is done.  With either outcome, my Higher Power smiles.  Even when I am making choices that do not align with my well-being, the Universe has a path to improve the lives of others through my delinquency.  My abuse of alcohol or other substances opens the opportunity for legions of people providing services in rehabs and out-patient counseling to have well-paying jobs.  If I choose to eat poorly and allow my body to deteriorate, there are doctors, nurses and hospitals full of people who have well-paying jobs because of my poor self-care.  My suffering that arises from choices that demonstrate the worst in me creates the  opportunity for others to demonstrate the best in them.

The GMU is not interested in me making Her happy.  The GMU has no agenda for me except that I achieve the level of potential that I set for myself.  The GMU most certainly doesn’t need me to praise Her all day every day as my very life is a testament to the power of Her creation and the depth of Her love for me.

My HP rejoices when I am finally able to take the necessary steps to make my life better.  Not because I have aligned with “what God wants for me” but because my alignment with more adaptive living ends my suffering and places me more firmly on the path to bring others joy and support.  My Higher Power is the rapid outpouring of good, constantly reorganizing itself – offering opportunity for change in every breath – yours and mine.

The God of My Understanding does not find joy in my praise for Her, She thrills when I overcome the limitations that impede my life and share what I have learned with others for their lives to improve as well.  Not because it benefits Her, but because it benefits all of us.  I have an awesome God.