Purpose Driven Life

The God of My Understanding…

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I have an awesome, amazing God.  The God of My Understanding (GMU) is the origin of everything – the Alpha and Omega – the beginning, the end and everything in between.  There is no part of my world and day-to-day life experience that is separate from God.  The GMU lives in the concrete that I walk on in Manhattan, the trees that line my driveway at home and in every single cell that constitutes me in this moment today.  My Higher Power (HP) is not some esoteric being that sits separate and apart from me.  My HP is everything.

Because the GMU is everything – it is impossible for anything to be separate from God.  Everything is of God – with no exceptions.  If God is omnipresent, ever present and all loving, how could there every be a time when God is NOT happy with me?  If God is in it all – a part of every element of the fabric of life – how can God not be okay with everything exactly as it is?

And if everything is exactly as it is, how can anything I do be anything less than within God’s plan?

My Higher Power is thrilled that I just breathe – regardless of whether I make adaptive choices or not.  My body is “engineered” by God to run best when I am sober, eat a healthy diet, exercise and allow myself adequate sleep at night.  When I choose to align with these behaviors, I have the privilege of living in a strong, healthy body.  Were I to fill my body with mind-altering drugs, eat poorly, forget to exercise and burn the candle at both ends, the quality of my life is the outcome of my choices.  On either path, God’s will is done.  With either outcome, my Higher Power smiles.  Even when I am making choices that do not align with my well-being, the Universe has a path to improve the lives of others through my delinquency.  My abuse of alcohol or other substances opens the opportunity for legions of people providing services in rehabs and out-patient counseling to have well-paying jobs.  If I choose to eat poorly and allow my body to deteriorate, there are doctors, nurses and hospitals full of people who have well-paying jobs because of my poor self-care.  My suffering that arises from choices that demonstrate the worst in me creates the  opportunity for others to demonstrate the best in them.

The GMU is not interested in me making Her happy.  The GMU has no agenda for me except that I achieve the level of potential that I set for myself.  The GMU most certainly doesn’t need me to praise Her all day every day as my very life is a testament to the power of Her creation and the depth of Her love for me.

My HP rejoices when I am finally able to take the necessary steps to make my life better.  Not because I have aligned with “what God wants for me” but because my alignment with more adaptive living ends my suffering and places me more firmly on the path to bring others joy and support.  My Higher Power is the rapid outpouring of good, constantly reorganizing itself – offering opportunity for change in every breath – yours and mine.

The God of My Understanding does not find joy in my praise for Her, She thrills when I overcome the limitations that impede my life and share what I have learned with others for their lives to improve as well.  Not because it benefits Her, but because it benefits all of us.  I have an awesome God.

The greatest matters God has entrusted…

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I am working through Rick Warren’s, “The Purpose Driven Life,” with a group of friends in recovery.  I am struggling with some of the opinions and interpretation presented in this book.  I will be posting my view of these opinions here as they are too long for the chat thread we have started.

Day 5: Thoughts…

The question to consider today asks “What are the greatest matters God has entrusted to me?”  My answer to that question is simple and clear:  the spiritual growth of my two children, all of you and the people that I come into contact with during the day.  Remember, for me, love is the selfless promotion of the spiritual growth of another.

For that reason, I feel compelled to comment (again) on some of the language I am reading.  Yesterday, I thought about contrasting some of the stuff in this book with the writings of Emmet Fox, a Christian philosopher who had a profound influence on Bill W.  Once I get home, I will be doing that.  I don’t want to be perceived as anti-Christian in my comments about what Rick Warren has written.  Using Fox’s work can illustrate that there is a different interpretation of some of this stuff among popular Christian authors and will underscore that this is all a matter of opinion; that this is all a matter of “the God of My Understanding.”

Some of the language that I had trouble with in today’s reading:

  • God withdrew?
  • “at the end of life you will be evaluated and rewarded according to how you handle what you’ve been given?
  • how I manage money prevents God from doing more in my life?
  • there is a direct relationship between money and spiritual life or “worldly wealth” versus “true riches”.

Um….yikes!

When one of my daughters was working her way through college, she was struggling with boundaries.  Boundaries in relationships, boundaries with substances, boundaries with her own self-perceptions.  I very clearly saw the struggle; I very clearly understood what was happening; I very clearly saw the challenges that she had to surmount.  The battle that she was fighting was one with herself – her own self perception, her own willingness to engage in life, her own migration into adult responsibilities.  This is a journey that every adult must face (and it is one that many avoid until they are in their fifties!).  I saw where she was.  When I took her back to school one January, she got out of the car and I told her that it was up to her to show herself who she was.  I didn’t withdraw (I cried most of the way home), I didn’t abandon her, I left her to her own choices while facilitating a path for her (lots in info regarding meetings near school, lots of numbers of women she could call, etc.).  As a loving parent, I let her fight the battles she needed in order to slay the demons chasing her and grow.  In my view that is how God acts in my life.  She is in every step of the battle with me, encouraging me, offering me opportunity after opportunity to redefine who I am and how I interact with the world.  God does not sweep in to make the problems “go away” because it is those “problems” that are refining me into the woman I say I want to be.  That’s not withdrawal or “testing,” that is a tremendous act of love and confidence.  God doesn’t bring me to something that She hasn’t already framed in a way for me to overcome.

And then this idea of the Santa Claus God?  You’ll be evaluated and rewarded according to how you handle what you’ve been given?  “You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I’m telling you why…?”  The God of My Understanding is in this mess with me.  How life unfolds around me is testament to every action I take having a logical consequence.  God isn’t evaluating and waiting to reward – the God of my understanding is on the sidelines, desperately hoping that I find the courage to run the ball all the way down the field and make the choice to kick for the goal even though I’m exhausted, at the end of my resources and not believing I can reach the goal.  She hasn’t withdrawn, She is my biggest cheerleader doing everything in Her power to make the path for me and others.  There is no “distant” evaluation and reward – She is in every minute of that game letting me show me who I want to be in relationship to it.  She is in every minute of that game, offering me the next chance to overcome myself and evolve.

And now we come to this idea of worldly riches and a relationship between money and spiritual life.  Ummmm… I know quite a few people that have amassed huge amounts of resources that I absolutely would not turn to for spiritual advice because their behavior is so far outside the frame of what I would consider grounded and loving.  I could argue that people like Justin Bieber, Britney Spears, the Kardashians and many others in the spotlight today that demonstrate little relationship between spiritual growth and wealth.  I know that there are literally billions of people living in impoverished areas of the world who have nothing but live in tremendous, deep faith.  Bill W., a man whose spiritual journey has impacted the lives of millions of others, never achieved “worldly riches” but quite clearly received “true riches.”  Emmet Fox has quite a few thoughts on this idea – the underlying one being:  it is God who provides us with jobs, resources and money.  But those things are not provided to us as rewards, they are provided to us as simply the vehicles necessary to achieve what the Universe hopes from us.  Bill Gates, Warren Buffet and other members of the Giving Trust are living examples of this philosophy. Resources are the vehicles by which God achieves Her purpose through us – not a reward for us.