Learning emotional literacy

When I started my journey of recovery, I understood two emotions: ANGER and FEAR. That was it. As I’ve progressed on my journey to emotional sobriety, my emotional literacy has expanded dramatically. I no longer live in a world of concrete, black or white thinking where there are two ends of the spectrum that I swing between. I live in a world now of nuance, of understanding that ANGER and RAGE are two different experiences, of recognizing the difference between SERENITY and PEACE.

Several weeks ago, I was working on the Sixth and Seventh Step on letting go some old coping behaviors from my childhood (the AA literature refers to them as character defects). I found myself searching on Google for words to describe what I was feeling – there was new depth to the experience and I felt the need to get as granular as I could. As I worked my way through that process building out the list of maladaptive coping strategies in my journal, I realized that such a list might be helpful to others. So, I am posting it here.

As I started to write this, I realized that I probably should be working on truly comprehensive list of the healthy coping skills I want to develop and all the feelings on the assets list. This will be my next endeavor as seeing myself and my life through a positive lens is significantly more challenging for me.

I hope this compilation helps you. Let me know if there are additional feelings or behaviors that I should be adding to this document!

The Survival Machine

So, why did I reference the concept of the various ages of the human brain and potentially how the brain developed in my last post?   The discussion of why the brain works, and to some degree how certain parts of the brain work, is important to truly understanding addiction and recovery as processes of learned behavior.[1]

I think, that as a society, as a culture, as an evolved species with an impressive capacity to think and consider abstract concepts, we lose sight of the fact that the human brain was not originally designed to “think”, at least not in the context of how we might consider the action of “thinking” today. The oldest parts of our brains originally evolved to act instinctively in order to keep the organism alive. Our brain is, in the words of James Zull, “a survival machine.”

Today we live in our highly evolved glory surrounded by a robust social safety net that includes abundant resources for nutrition. Our lives in the United States include a great deal of technology to keep us safe from the threats that our ancestors faced on a daily basis: vaccines to keep us healthy, animal control to keep predators at bay, heated homes to protect us from the elements. We lose sight of the fact that everything about our brain evolved on the basis of managing threat or danger and experiencing things that sustained the species (and generated pleasure).

It is easy to understand the necessity of the “fear center” in your brain when you consider the conditions that most humans have lived in. If you look back beyond the aberration of the last 120 years, the ability to recognize a threat and instantaneously respond to it with movement and problem-solving served us well when, as a species, we were dancing with lions and tigers and bears all day. During our days filled with higher order thinking (hmmm… what will I order as take-out tonight?) it is very easy to lose conscious awareness of how important and powerful the fear and threat management mechanisms in our brains really are.

Our first breaths were taken not because we thought and made the choice to breathe. Our first breaths were taken because certain structures deep in our brains responded to external stimulus and impelled us to do so.

Let’s take the survival mechanisms of the human brain out for a test drive. Let’s demonstrate how the survival pathways in our brain trump the power of conscious thought.

Take a deep breath and hold it.Unknown-2

Repeat the following thought in your mind:

“I am not going to breathe, I am not going to breathe.”

Wait thirty seconds. Wait 45 seconds. What happens?

Your chest begins to feel a little tight; your body begins to tense. If you hold your breath long enough your face will flush, you will begin to sweat and all of sudden, against your will, you will exhale.

Why?

Because those “unconscious” survival pathways of your brain are doing their job – they are keeping you alive – regardless of what you are thinking.

If you continue to resist, what happens? Your body shuts down unnecessary processing – like conscious thought – you lose consciousness and your body returns to “normal” breathing. Such is the power of the threat management strategies of the human brain and body.

Each day hundreds of thousands of “invisible” biochemical processes occur in your brain – all designed to keep you alive and the species evolving. Breathing; eating; moving; turning your head toward an unexpected sound; ducking your head when something falls off a shelf – all seemingly “unconscious” processes that occur over and over with little, if any, “thought” on your part. All processes designed to keep the organism that is you alive and functioning for one more day without you consciously thinking about it.

How do you think this might be related to the disease of addiction?  I’d love to hear your comments.

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Zull, J. (2002). The Art of Changing the Brain. Sterling, VA: Stylus Publishing

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[1] N.B. Throughout my posts, I reference certain processes or functions of areas of the human brain. My goal here is to explain what is relevant about brain functionality and evolution, not to spend a great deal of time on the how of brain function. There are a number of useful resources that explain how the brain works (for instance, McGill University has a wonderful resource online about brain structures and how they interact).